Wasted Effort
by lilypad
Summary: Casey immerges herself in her schoolwork for a reason...and Derek needs to snap her out of this trance. Oneshot.


**Hey guys, this is my first Life With Derek fic. I hope you enjoy.**

"Hey mom! I'm home!" 17-year old Casey Macdonald called out to her mother as she slammed the front door of the house shut. She adjusted the strap of her way-too-full backpack and tried to hoist it further up on her shoulder. She'd just gotten home from a soccer practice that had run **very** late, and she still had a ton of homework to do for tomorrow. Wearily brushing her soaked hair back from her face, she began trudging towards the stairs. She'd lived here two years, and she still hadn't gotten used to the inordinate amount of stairs.

"Oh hey, Case. How was your day?…" Nora trailed off as she took in Casey's bedraggled appearance. "What happened, honey?"

"Oh, well, see, I have this thing about **always** getting caught in the rain, and it just happened to start raining right as I started walking home. It was fabulous timing actually, since I already needed a shower." Casey attempted a laugh, but was so obviously stressed that it looked more like a grimace.

"Honey, come have a nice warm dinner with the rest of us after you get changed, and then you can get started on the mountain of homework I'm sure you have," Nora began walking back into the kitchen.

"No, mom, I don't have time to sit down with you guys. You know it takes forever for everyone-" They both knew she was talking about Derek, her stepbrother, "-to sit down together. I'll just grab some leftovers later." Casey made to start up the stairs again but Nora called out after her.

"Case, please. You haven't eaten with us all week. Actually, I haven't seen you eat at all, all week. Please, come sit with us so I can be sure you've had at least one square meal." Nora looked meaningfully at her, and Casey sighed.

She nodded tiredly and said, "Fine. Just let me change into something drier."

Up in her room, Casey tossed her bag onto her bed and watched it bounce up and down, and finally settle its considerable weight. She rubbed her eyes and thought about what her mother had said. Was it really true that she hadn't eaten with the family all week? She distinctly remembered Derek throwing a bread roll at her head just yesterday…but maybe that had been at school. Oh man, she couldn't even keep her events straight. Not that it was truly an event…Derek threw things at her all the time.

She grabbed a dry long-sleeved shirt and track pants, and went to the bathroom to dry off and change.

"Oh wow! The Ice Queen dares show her face around us peasants for dinner!" Her jerk of a stepbrother bowed exaggeratedly and threw an almond at her head. She rolled her eyes and sat down in her usual spot right across from Derek.

"Where've you been, Casey?" Derek shoved a forkful of chicken into his mouth, chewing with his mouth open just because he knew it irritated her.

Once again, she rolled her eyes tiredly, and reached for a bread roll…only to find the whole basket yanked out of her reach by none other than Derek. She glared at him, and hissed, "Why do you have to be such a jerk?"

"Casey! Please, let's just have a nice, quiet, **calm** family dinner, with all of us here for once," her mother chided her, shooting a sideways glance at George, her husband.

"It's good to see you Casey," George said from the other side of the table. "We've missed having you eat with us."

"Dad! Don't say that. She'll think she's welcome to come and eat our food now!" Derek groaned loudly, and made a show of passing her the smallest bread roll.

"Derek-" began George in a warning tone, but Casey cut him off.

"It's okay, George. I think Dereka's just PMSing a bit today, since he failed a biology test." Casey watched smugly as Derek shot her an aggravated look and turned to his father to try and explain (read: lie) to his father.

"No dad, I swear, Casey's just exaggerating as usual. I didn't **really** fail, I just didn't do as well as I'd hoped." Derek kicked her-hard- under the table, and she winced slightly, but kicked him back harder. She had the satisfaction of hearing his lies falter just a little when her foot connected with his shin.

"Oh don't listen to him. He failed…like, big-letter-F-in-red-at-the-top-of-his-page failed," Casey smirked at her stepbrother, and didn't even wince a little when he kicked her full-force in the ankle.

"Alright, you two. That's enough. I'm tired of you two fighting during what is **supposed** to be our family time. Either stop, or take your food upstairs." Nora glared at the two of them, but her eyes seemed to linger just a little bit more on Casey. As if! It wasn't her fault if Derek just provoked her in the worst possible way! It wasn't her fault it was so easy for her to get riled up when he made fun of her…after all, she **didn't** handle teasing well, and she **had** warned him. Well, whatever. If her mother felt it was better for her to take her food upstairs, then fine.

Casey moved to pick up her plate and clear out of there when she felt a hand on her arm.

Her sister, Lizzie, looked at her with pleading eyes. "Casey, just stay and quit arguing."

Heaving a sigh, Casey carefully placed her plate back down, and muttered, "Fine. Truce while dinner's on then." She looked up and met Derek's eyes, and she swore she saw a flicker of triumph in them.

So she kicked him as hard as she could in the knee and relished the sight of his eyes widening in pain and shock.

Hearing a knock at her door, she gave an aggravated groan, hit her head against her pillow a few times, and finally pushed herself up from her bed to open her door. She was expecting her mother, or Lizzie, or perhaps George, but it was Marti who bounced through the door as soon as she'd opened it.

"Hey Casey! What's up?" She asked as she bounced up and down, doubtless pretending to be a rabbit or some other such animal that hopped a lot.

"Not much, Marti. I'm just trying to get some homework done, and I can't have you bouncing around in here while I try to do it, so…" She gestured towards her door.

"Are you trying to kick me out politely?" Straightforward as always, that one.

"Yes, actually, I am Marti. So if you wouldn't mind…" Casey once again gestured vaguely towards the door, and sat down on the bed to resume studying.

There were a few blessed moments of silence during which Marti bounced continuously while Casey gritted her teeth and tried to pretend that she wasn't in fact desperately wishing she **could** play with Marti.

"I didn't come in here to make you play with me, if that's what you're mad about," Marti stated this matter-of-factly.

"I'm not mad. And, is that so?" Casey idly twisted a piece of long brown hair around a finger, and waited for Marti to explain what she was doing in her room then.

"See, I got sent in to talk to you because everyone thought I was the one you were least likely to snap at, like you've been snapping at us for the past few weeks. Never me, of course, though," Marti hastened to add that last bit, as though worried she may have offended Casey by the mere suggestion of her snapping at Marti.

While she puzzled this out, she also smiled wanly, and asked, "And who 'sent you in' Marti? Was it Derek? Did he send you in to see how much time you could distract me from my homework for? Well, if it was, then you can tell him that-"

"It wasn't Derek. It was us," came a voice from the doorway, as Edwin and Lizzie stepped into view.

"Lizzie? Edwin? What are you guys talking about? I don't snap at you!" Casey threw herself back on her bed, and huffed dramatically.

"Of course not. What were we thinking Lizzie?" Edwin rolled his eyes, and enunciated slowly, "Oh, I know! We were thinking that, since you and that Dave boy broke up two months ago, you've been way obsessing about your homework and soccer, and whatever else you do."

Casey threw an idle glare at him, and said huffily, "I wasn't obsessing because we broke up. I was obsessing because I need to do really well this year to get into an awesome university on the other side of the country!"

"…But you admit that you are obsessing?" Lizzie said tentatively after a pause.

Throwing a pillow at her sister, she declared, "I'm not obsessing! And I'm not snappish! Now get out! I have to do homework."

Marti giggled, and bounced some more before announcing, "You were very snappish there."

Casey gave a frustrated groan and pointed at her open doorway. "Out! Now! All of you."

They gave a collective sigh, and Edwin cautiously asked, "So you'll stop snapping at us then?"

All he received was a pillow in the back of the head as he walked out the door.

Casey had dated Dave Gillman for 4 months, before circumstanced had gotten in her way. Namely, those circumstances were her stupid stepbrother Derek and his stupid best friend Sam. So what, if Dave played on their hockey team with them? That didn't mean that she couldn't date him, right? It wasn't like her stepbrother's friends were off limits, were they? After all, she **had** dated Sam for the longest time without Derek really flipping out. However, when she had announced that she and Dave were going out, both he and Sam had started grilling her about the fact that they had to talk to this guy even after Casey left him in the dust.

She had glared at the time, and declared that she wouldn't leave him in the dust, but Derek had taken it as a challenge, and done everything he could from the very beginning of their relationship to make things difficult for them. Sam, while she would never have expected it from him, had aided Derek in his cruel, thoughtless plan, and the two of them had raised obstacles in every aspect of Casey and Dave's relationship. Whenever they wanted to hang out, there was always hockey practice. When Dave finally had an impromptu night off, Sam or Derek or one of the other guys on the hockey team made an offer to hang out so inviting, that not even the most dedicated of boyfriends could resist. And finally, the school dance, where it had all ended.

Casey had dressed in a brand new dress, and had primped and prepared for, well, maybe not hours, but certainly **hour**, to look her best for him. Then, the nightmare began. He'd called and said that he was very sorry, but he couldn't make it to pick her up because some of his hockey friends had taken him out before, and they would be late in getting home, and he didn't want her to be late to the dance. So, he'd said she should just go on ahead, and he'd meet her there. She'd said nothing scathing, and was very polite, even as she seethed inside at the injustice of such a doomed relationship, and said that she would meet him there. When he'd arrived, halfway through the dance, he'd been so completely trashed that he'd mistaken another girl for Casey and given her the most graphic kiss imaginable while Casey had stood off to the side and watched it all with a heavy heart. It wasn't that she was in love with Dave. She had to admit that part of the reason that she'd gone out with him in the first place was to continue pissing Derek off. But this was getting ridiculous; they'd gotten him drunk just to ensure she wouldn't have a nice night?! So, she'd marched up to Dave, who was still drunkenly slobbering on the mystery girl, and calmly informed him that, while she thought he was a very nice boy, they just didn't seem to be working very well together, and that she thought they should break up. He'd looked very confused, as if he didn't know who she was, and then muttered a feeble, 'Casey?' She'd rolled her eyes and walked away—walked home in the cool evening air, and walked straight up to her room, and started doing homework.

Despite her best intentions, she had left poor Dave Gillman in the dust, and it was all Derek's fault! Why couldn't anyone get her riled up like Derek could? Why did she have to compare her stepbrother to every potential boyfriend? Why couldn't Derek just leave her alone and get out of her thoughts? Why did he have to ruin **all** of her relationships? And, most of all, why didn't she seem to truly mind?

Casey hadn't had dinner with the family for at least two weeks when her mother finally confronted her about it.

"Casey. What's wrong with you lately? I haven't seen you in two days. I literally haven't set eyes on you for two days straight! I used to see you, talk to you every single day. I never used to worry about whether you were getting enough nourishment to keep from collapsing, but now I worry all the time about you. I realize that this year is more stressful that the others, but you're running yourself into the ground Case."

Her mother looked at her expectantly, and Casey felt her lips start to tremble. She pressed them together tightly, took a deep breath, and said, "I'm just really busy with school, and soccer."

"Casey, please. Do you really expect me to believe that? You've always been busy with school and soccer, but it's like this year, or at least lately, you want to avoid everyone around here. Why is that? Have we done something to drive you away? Have **I** done something to drive you away? Because you need to tell me honey! So I can stop worrying," her mother's blue eyes, so like her own, bore into hers, and Casey took a deep breath.

"Mom, you've done nothing, I promise! Don't even think like that. It's just that I'm taking all of the hard courses, and…it's not like I can slack off all the time like Derek does." She attempted a weak smile and was grateful to see her mother give a wavering smile back.

And it wasn't like she could really tell her mother that she really was avoiding being around the house all that much. Ever since the confrontation with Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti, she hadn't wanted to put anybody else out, so she'd kept to herself to keep from putting others down. She'd recognized that she had indeed become quite snappish, and been big enough to admit that, until she resolved whatever it was that had her pushing herself so hard, she had to avoid making others feel as bad as she did.

And then there was also the Derek problem. She'd labeled it as a problem even though she didn't consider it so much a problem as a catastrophe. She didn't even know where to begin when thinking about it, so she tried not to think about it…about him.

"Ok, honey. If you're sure there's nothing going on…I just want to make sure that you know you can come talk to me with whatever you may be going through. And I also want you to come eat with us more often!" Nora stared at her sternly, and Casey gave a wan grin.

"Alright mom. I think that can be arranged. And I'm not 'going through anything'. Just a really stressful period, ok?"

Nora nodded resolutely, and stood up to go. "Ok Case. If you're hungry now, there's still-warm leftovers downstairs…and I promise it'll just be us two so we can talk some more." She gestured invitingly to the door for Casey to join her downstairs.

Casey smiled gratefully, stood up, stretched, and threaded her arm through her mother's as they walked downstairs together.

Despite what she'd promised Nora over leftovers, Casey did not slow down or lighten up on the workload that she took on aside from her schoolwork. In fact, she now had so much work that, with soccer practice running very late indoors now, since it was too cold to train outside nowadays, she'd often had to stay awake working until she'd fall asleep with her head on a textbook. Often times she'd wake up because a binder ring was digging into her cheek. Her performance never dragged because she refused to let it. She convinced herself that the reason she was pushing herself this hard – to the point of exhaustion, both mental and physical – was because she needed all the extras she could get to get into a top-notch university. However, when she let herself think about it, she knew that she was doing all of this so she could avoid thinking about Derek, and everything that went along with that topic. She'd resorted to avoidance, which was normally his tactic, because she couldn't bear to think about him as much as she'd been doing. Besides, she was pretty sure he was having none of those thoughts that she was, and the best way to forget all about him was to completely immerse herself in something else. Or, in Casey's case, immerse herself in everything else.

She was walking back from soccer practice, which had run beyond late yet again, when it started to snow. She looked up to the sky in amazement, and very nearly burst out crying at the unfairness of it all. She was wearing only a sweatshirt and mittens, having opted out of wearing a coat this morning as she couldn't find hers and she'd been running late. Shivering, and muttering to herself in anger, she continued trudging on her way home when she heard a car drive up behind her and honk. Casey rolled her eyes and ignored it, thinking it was one of the many boys at her school who thought they could win a girl's heart – or at least get in her pants – by honking and making lewd comments. When the car honked again, she turned her head briefly and glared, then continued on her way, still shivering, and still cursing the weather, although now she was cursing the person in the car too.

When the car honked a third time, she turned around fully and glared heatedly at the car, seeking out the driver. She saw Derek behind the wheel, and stumbled back slightly. Then she turned on her heel and began briskly walking away before he could say anything (read: insult her).

She heard the car turn off and a door slam, and then he was there, grabbing her elbow and swinging her around to face him.

"Hey, Ice Queen. Did you finally make it snow? Your iciness got too much to handle all by yourself so you had to make everything around you icy as well?" He was teasing, she knew, but it hurt, and she wrenched her elbow out of his grasp.

"Shut up, Derek. And leave me alone. I was having a nice walk home in the snow until you interrupted with your honking. Just go away and leave me alone."

He let a look of surprise flicker over his features before he schooled them into his familiar smirk. "Touchy, touchy, aren't we Casey? Is this about Dave? See, I figured that since you've been moody since you guys broke up, I should explain what happened there." He peered at her, and asked, "Are you okay?"

She could see that he was trying to be charming when he flashed her his famous I'm-Derek-Venturi-don't-you-just-love-me smile. She glared, and turned away. "Yeah, I'm fine. I don't need you to explain anything to me, Derek. I know what happened there. You can't bear anyone to be happy but yourself. When it looked like your poor, dorky stepsister may possibly have gotten what she wanted for once, you had to step in and ruin it for me. Why is that Derek? Why do you have to ruin everything for me? Do you really hate me that much? Am I really so worthless to you that taking away what makes me happy is how you get your kicks? I get it, Derek! I get that you're the bad boy, and the rebel, and the most popular, or whatever. And I get that I'm just your nerdy, bookish, loser stepsister who you are unfortunately related to. I get that I'm the good girl that you pretend you don't know. But I don't get why you have to make everything just a little bit less bright for me when it wouldn't affect you in the least if I were just the least bit happy. I don't get why you waste the effort to taunt me and anger me when, to just leave me alone would cost you the least effort. I don't get why you even bother if you don't care at all, which I know you don't!"

Casey couldn't look away from his astonished eyes. His beautiful, tawny, flecked-with-gold eyes that were not so full of shock and uncomprehending confusion.

Then, he seemed to shake himself out of his stupor and broke eye contact. He looked at his shoes, briefly kicked at the layer of snow that had already deposited itself on the ground, and turned jerkily towards his car.

She turned around and continued walking in a daze, only registering when he slammed his door shut, turned on his engine and sped away. Only when she couldn't see his car anymore did she let the tears fall silently down her face, the tracks freezing on her cheeks as they did so – a reminder that she wasn't okay.

She hadn't seen him or heard him in days, and she couldn't focus on anything anymore. At soccer practice, she'd been elbowed in the ribs several times because she'd been too unfocused to weave out of the way. In school, she'd barely taken any notes in any classes because she could barely register what the teacher was saying. When she got home though, she didn't let her mind wander, and she worked until her body and mind gave out from exhaustion.

Her family barely noticed the change in her, since she'd been avoiding them for so long that it probably felt natural that she only came out of her room now to leave for school and go to the bathroom.

In truth, she was afraid of what he would say. She wanted to believe – to hold out hope – that none of what she'd accused him of, indirectly, was true. She wanted to believe that he did care about her and that he only taunted her because he craved the interaction. However, she feared that it wasn't the reason.

So, she hid in her room and immersed herself in her work again, and hoped that with time, he would forget everything she had said, and forget about trying to answer. Because, she didn't think she could bear his answer if he didn't disagree.

Five days after their confrontation, he finally found her in her room. She'd fallen asleep on her biology textbook, with her revision notes in front of her. It was 2:30 am, and he couldn't sleep without talking to her for a moment longer.

He shook her shoulder gently, and watched as she slowly shuddered awake. When she noticed someone else in the room with her, she bolted upright and stared at him with wide eyes.

"Derek! What are you doing here?" She hissed, to avoid waking everybody up.

He looked at her, and took in her track pants, ripped at the knee, and her sweater with an ink stain right at the hem. Then he smiled at her and sank down on her bed.

"You've been avoiding me." It was a statement, and she couldn't deny it.

"Yes."

"It's because you dread my response, isn't it?"

Again, she couldn't deny anything. "Yes."

"It's time that I explained it to you, don't you think?"

"Yes" She sank down on a chair, and he turned so he could face her square on.

"I didn't break you and Dave up to 'get my kicks', as you put it."

"Oh, yeah right!" She scoffed, but he held up a hand to silence her.

"Okay, if this is going to work, you need to shut up and let me talk." He waited for her to nod, and when she finally did, he let out a breath and continued. "Dave…isn't a good guy. He may seem like it, but he's not."

She started to protest, but he held up a warning hand, and she closed her mouth.

"I tried to keep you two apart, but it didn't work, so I figured, the only way to protect you from him would be to break you two up and then take the blame myself. Casey, you're a good girl. No, you are. Don't bother trying to deny it. You're a good girl, and Dave – well, Dave's not a good guy. He would have corrupted you, and I didn't want that, so I broke you up without letting you see what a sleaze ball he was. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't expect a thank you."

She scoffed, but he continued.

"So I really didn't do it out of malice. I – actually, we, because Sam was against you two, as well – only kept you away from Dave to protect you. Okay," he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, as if preparing himself for what he was about to say. "You're not worthless to me, Case. Far from it, actually. And I don't mean to make you unhappy. I thought you enjoyed the way we argue, the way we 'verbally spar' with each other. I know that it keeps **me** on my toes, and I thought you liked that we challenged each other. I know that I can get carried away with the insults sometimes, and I'm s-sorry," he stuttered on the apology, which made her smile. "I don't mean to say half the things I say to you, but when you stand there and you get so mad – and you're just so beautiful when you're mad – and I can't help myself because I think you're the most beautiful when you're angry. And sometimes, I just do it because I need to see you when you're incensed. Lately, I've been taunting you so I can see you when you're something other than absolutely listless, because I can't stand it when you're listless Casey."

She looked away briefly, but her eyes came back and found his on their own accord.

"The past few months, when you've been so completely absorbed in everything but me and our fights, have been worthless to me, Case. Every day that I don't talk with you, or even really, truly see you is worthless to me, because you've come to be irreplaceable in my life now. So, if I've driven you away by trying to protect you, then I'm sorry, but you are too good a girl to be wasted on Dave Gillman."

Casey smiled, and took a deep breath.

"Why couldn't you just say this before, you idiot?!"

He looked so shocked she wanted to burst out in nervous giggles, but held herself back, feeling the solemnity of the moment shouldn't be spoiled by something so stupid as her giggles.

"I couldn't say anything to an Ice Queen, could I?" His familiar smirk was back in place, and her heart sank just a little bit with the cruel familiarity of it.

But, she was determined to see him in a different light, so she let one little smirk slide. "I am a good girl. I know I'm not one of your blonde bombshells with boobs out to there and hair highlighted until it glows in the dark. I know I don't sleep around and I'm not considered to be one of the 'popular girls'. I **am** bookish, and I am smart. I'm – well, I'm not a loser – but I know I'm not as popular or as rebellious as you. And I don't think I ever will be. But you are rubbing off on me."

She stood up and walked over to him haltingly, as if unsure if she should do what she was about to do. Ever so slowly, she leaned down and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, her lips gliding over his, and she was about to pull away, thinking he definitely didn't want this, when she felt his hands come up to her waist and pull her down so she was sitting on his lap.

He deepened the kiss, his tongue begging entrance into her mouth, which she readily gave. Their tongues dueled for power, because, well, he did like to see her riled up. She fought him for control, and ran her hands down his body before he thought to do it to her. After what seemed like ages, they finally came up for air, and she looked him in the eyes.

"I am a good girl." She placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

He looked down at her, his expression unreadable but intense. She began to nervously twist her hair around her finger, thinking that he was going to tell her this should never have happened, when his hands tightened on her waist.

He kissed her forehead, and softly said, "Make sure you stay that way, okay?"

Then he stood up, and placed her back down on her bed. With one last fleeting smile, he opened her door and walked out, closing it after him.

She sat there, touched her swollen lips, and smiled absentmindedly to herself. Perhaps she **should** take it easier from now on. After all, she had to have time to herself during which she could think about…well, whatever struck her fancy. And she should definitely make time for sleep, during which she could dream about…things.

She touched a finger to her lips again, and fell back on her bed closing her eyes, a smile on her face.

**Hey, I hope you enjoyed that, because I know I enjoyed writing it. Leave a review and let me know what you thought. Thanks,**

**lilypad**


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